I hope you can relate..

I don't know about you guys, but I saw a lot of posts in all things social media that had a picture of babies or kids and the parents writing something like "Christmas is so much better with kids!!!" And something mushy about how much they love them. 

Well, to them I would like to raise a questionable brow and a side-eye... IS IT THOUGH?? 

I love my twins. I love my life and my family and blah, blah, blah, all that! But let me just tell you how Christmas Eve dinner went for me with 16 month old twins.

We were all sitting around the table. Babies strapped in to their chairs and ready to say the prayer. 

The oven beeps and mom has to get the rolls out.

Kids get antsy and NEED FOOD. 

I give them food. 

Prayer begins.

Raylee starts frantically whining for a drink.

I try to quietly distract her while the prayer continues. (Just bless the food!) 

Prayer ends and I get the drink for raylee. 

Wake immediately wants a drink after seeing R got one. 

Get wake a drink. 

Sit to finally dish food. 

About to start eating and babies want more food.

I give them a large variety of food to hopefully satisfy them and eat my food. 

R takes the bait while I eat some.

W eats some and wants down. 

Jordan gets him down and W runs to me crying. 

I pull him on my lap and try to keep eating.

W grabs at all my food and silverware and starts to distribute it to the floor. 

Wrestle with W and take bites when I can. 

R wants down. 

Get R down while making sure W doesn't fall. 

Both are crying now. 

I try to give them drinks again. 

No success. 

Grandma takes W and I take R.

I begin shoving bites in my face to just get done eating. 

R throws things on floor. 

Jordan finishes eating and takes R. 

W cries so I take him. 

ETC! I don't even remember the rest really. 

And that was JUST dinner! I didn't listen to the prayer, have a good conversation, or even really enjoy the food that was so beautifully prepared... Christmas Day was the exact same. Me just trying to squeeze in a few Christmas normalities while I try profusely to keep my kids content. (A battle that is never won). Wake was coming down with a cold, so it was even a little worse than normal. This was not the Christmas I was hoping for, and it wasn't really "better with kids"

I truly love my babies. I love being a mother! But I don't really love having all the responsibilities 100% of the time! It's hard! It's life! I accept it, but I'm just TIRED. I'm only human. 

After we all got home for the night, I put the kids to sleep while Jordan went to drop off some gifts to his friends. I climbed in bed and just reflected on my crazy holiday and how different it was when I was a kid. I was defeated. So tired but not wanting to sleep because I would have to wake up and start the crazy all over. All of the sudden Wake starts crying. With all of the energy I had left I said the most fervent and pleading prayer I have ever said. 

"Heavenly Father... I KNOW you have the power to make him comfortable. I KNOW you can take his cold away, help him breathe, or just ANYTHING that will calm him down. Please, please, please, PLEASE, just help him! I need this.. I have been going all day, just please help him for me" 

I listened to see if it worked... Nope. Now violent screaming. 

I began to just plead some more.. Maybe He didn't think I was serious. 

Then I just decided I was going to let Wake cry it out. But then a prompting from The Spirit came to me. "You have what I cannot give him" 

What? Well maybe he was poopy...I guess no one in heaven could really come down and change him for me. So I reluctantly got up and went to him. He was not poopy.. He immediately quieted down as I laid his head on my shoulder. I sat in the rocking chair with him and tickled his neck to calm him down and started the think about that prompting.. What did I have that Heavenly Father couldn't give him? 

And then it hit me. I am his mother. His earthly mother. We share a unique bond that no one else does. And along with that I am able to hold him and comfort him and connect with him like no one else ever could. 

My heart immediately softened and I held Wake a little bit closer as I cried tears of gratitude and understanding. 

Could Heavenly Father have comforted Wake? Yes, definitely. But instead He taught me how important I am in this whole plan. And reminded me that these days are precious and won't last forever. I am more important than a diaper changer. 

So I am starting the day with a refreshed view of my life, and a lot more love and patience with my babies. I won't have the relaxing days that I so desperately crave and I won't be perfect.. But that's ok. I'm doing very Devine work. 

 I'm writing this down and sharing it because I am sure other moms can relate. Hopefully!? And i want moms everywhere to remember how important they are. Maybe even go thank your mom for dealing with you as a baby! Haha! I do that all the time.. 

Will I be able to survive when Baby #3 arrives in July? Ummmm we'll find out. 

The Wayments Take McCall, ID

Jordan has been known to make friends fast, and close ones too. It's a talent I definitely don't possess and I am constantly in awe watching him easily converse with anyone around him! 

Anyway, this time his friend making skills got us a sweet trip to McCall, Idaho! It's this random little lake town I had no idea about cleeeeeeaaaaaar up the freak in Idaho. The town has a Park City vibe but slightly more po-dunk slash more ritzy. I don't know how that's possible but it pulled it off. 

This was our first family road trip. We have never driven further than 2 hours with the babies in the car.. So I was nervous. With some strategic planning with driving around nap time and YouTube, we made it to Boise for the first night with ease. We stayed with my Uncle Gary and Aunt Beth, who live there, and went to church with them the next day. 

Family snuggle time before church 

Being ever so reverent in church. 

We finally made it to McCall later that day and arrived to one of the nicest lake houses I have ever been to. 

We had our own private dock, hot tub, beach, and the softest bed you ever did touch... Being young and having two kids, we don't get to experience this type of luxury...ever.. So we were kind of wide eyed when they were showing us around, but we were trying to act cool because the family we were with obviously experiences this on the daily. 

The kids LOVE sand and they waisted no time getting it into every little crevice of their bodies. We had to just strip them down. 

Raylee heads straight for the water and just wanted to splash in it. The family we were with (the Gallaghers) loved the babies and played with them all the time! We love their family! 

The next morning it started to sink in what a non-baby-friendly environment we were in... Hard floors, stairs everywhere, railings with gaps bigger than them (who does that??) water, and people who weren't used to having babies around so when the babies cried it was like... Quick run to the other room and shut the door!! Plus the kids didn't sleep well so they had an extra dose of cranky. Luckily there was a little office-like area that we blockaded with a fancy chair that we could let the babies crawl and play to their hearts content. 

I didn't really get much of a break on this vacation because I had to constantly be watching the kids, but the second they went to sleep I could be found in the hot tub :)

We had planned to stay until Thursday, but after a couple days of constant monitoring of the twins and everyone being a little cranky we re-evaluated and decided to go home Tuesday night... I hope bailing early on vacations happens to other young families...

But before we left we had one of the best boating sessions we have ever had with the babies. They didn't fuss about their life jackets at all and loved watching dad! Maybe it's because they knew we were on our family's dream boat (the Nautique G23) 

She was smiling and singing most of the time... She isn't a fan of pictures. 

He loved watching the water! He got tired of standing though and when he sat down it was hilarious! 

After some time on the boat our spirits were a little higher and we were ready to make the treck home! We are actually still driving as we speak... 2:33 a.m. 

Being parents is hard, especially with two little ones, and things hardly ever go as planned. But Jordan and I are learning to be more flexible and be so greatful for the little moments that make life what it is and enjoy those sunrises we had no intention of waking up for... 

Lesson Learned

I have a lot of people asking and wondering what it is like adjusting to my new life with twins. Well let me just clear that up for you...

Have you ever been driving in the fast/passing lane trying to pass a semi truck when you realize the vehicle behind you can't possibly fathom why you are going so slow and consequently tails your car writhin 3 inches or so? And then you panic because you feel bad you are not going fast enough for them and you can't get out of their way because the semi truck is to your other side... So you speed up to a speed that is completely out of your comfort zone in hopes of satisfying the speedster behind you, but of course they are not satisfied so you keep accelerating and then just feel completely out of control and can't wait to get back to a slower lane? Has this happened to you?? 

Well THAT is what life feels like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah there are good times, amazing times even, but I would not mind just pulling over and taking a rest nap for a bit before I fall asleep at the wheel and kill us all!!! (That was dramatic... I apologize) (also, car analogies are over I promise) 

The whole incident on the freeway described above happened to me on my way home tonight. I made the connection with how it relates to how I feel about life and then it sparked deep thoughts about happiness and life. (I really only have time to think while driving in the car, because the babies are strapped to a chair)

Anyway, I distinctly remember the day I came home from 2nd grade and was working on a homework sheet at the bar in the kitchen, when it sunk in that I would be attending at least 14 more years of school. 14 years is an eternity to a 7 year old. I was devastated. It was right then and there that I started longing for the life my mom had. She didn't have to go to school, she was an adult and didn't have rules, she could just play all day with no cares in the world. HA! I truly believed that for years and years! 

Well, I am now somewhat in my mother's shoes, and I have had plenty of moments where I would much rather be a kid in school where my only responsibility was to complete a homework sheet and make sure it got back to the teacher. 

As I was pondering this on my drive home tonight I chuckled a little... Because I realized the lesson Heavenly Father wanted to teach me took about 17 years for me to learn. 

Enjoy life for what it is now! Something hard and challenging will always be going on, but what is important is to find the light where you are standing and stop looking for it somewhere else. 

Easier said than done, but I can give it a go! It's ok that I feel like I am careening down the highway out of control. That's probably what my situation SHOULD feel like. But I don't have to long for the slow lane. Slow lane people have their own problems... Like cars getting on the freeway cutting them off, rouge tires, even slower people, and probably being late... Anyway, I want to share some pictures of a few "light" moments that I happened to capture in my phone.

My man and his look-alike daughter snuggled on the couch. 

The first discovery of glow sticks and the joy that ensued.

That time they drank their bottles together but still wanted to be touching the whole time. 

And again.

My mom took this when she took them for a walk. They always have the biggest smiles for the grandparents! 

When she makes this adorable face..

When he discovers a new object and holds it out away from his body and sings to it with delight. 

I smile at Jordan and my babies daily! I always have millions of things to be thankful for. The grass is green right where I am :) 

 

FIRE!!!

One of Jordan and my favorite things to do on the weekends, or just really any day, is to have a fire. After all, we met at a fire, got engaged at a fire, and we both have a vein of pyro running through us. (We have both burened an assortment of things just because it looks cool in flames!) So tonight we decided to take the twins to their first Wayment fire! It was a tiny fire... But still! 

We were out by our favorite lake and Jordan's parents decided to come with us! It is fun to have grandparents so close to us so they can just come do random things with us and the kids. (Sorry it's blurry)

Our fires usually start with Jordan hacking away at whatever we decide to use as firewood... Tonight it was a box he built for his tools that he decided he didn't want anymore. 

There were mosquitoes out and about so we had to protect the Littles! I used this blanket as shelter..Excuse my crazy hair. 

Wake has ALWAYS been obsessed with lights so it was adorable to watch him be so fascinated at the fire.

It wasn't a very eventful fire, like the ones we have had in the past (igniting couches, entertainment centers, jumping through flames, or playing catch with flaming rags dipped in gasoline), but this fire made me sit back and realize how beautiful life is. I love my husband who always has a crazy idea up his sleve, my two perfect babies who don't even look like they are related, and our new life we are figuring out together. 

The Plague!!! (RSV)

So the babies and I caught the dreaded RSV despite all of my efforts to avoid it like The Plague! I have a hard time pronouncing what RSV really stands for so I have re-named it the Really Stupid Virus. Because... It is really stupid. 

I was quite proud of myself that my babies hadn't gotten sick yet, and they are already 6 months old, so when they started to get what I thought was a cold, I was just like, "meh, I guess it's about time." 2 days later little Wake started wheezing so we took him in to the Instacare. They stuck this long evil thing up his nose to get a mucus sample, meanwhile Wake thought he was dying and my heart was breaking. Within like 3 minutes it came back positive for RSV. We didn't bother testing Raylee or me for a result because.... We all share everything... Bath water, boobs, blankets,     kisses, slobber, toys, you get the idea.. 

My only experience with RSV is just what I have heard from horror stories in the news or from other people, so of course I though the next step was going to be my babies whisked away to the hospital to have breathing tubes and crap shoved everywhere. But no. The doctor was just like, "well there is nothing we can do for viruses so just keep their noses clear, you could also take them outside! It's such a nice day!"

I thought that was a bit chipper.. But he did give us a prescription to take them to the RSV clinic at the hospital incase their breathing got labored. 

Not going to lie, I was freaking out. What did labored breathing look like? Why didn't he think my babies would die like all of the other kids in the news? There has to be SOMETHING we can do! 

We all left the Instacare a bit frazzled and wondering what was going to happen next. Wake's wheezing was still freaking us out so we decided we should give the babies a blessing and take a visit to this RSV clinic in the hospital. 

Jordan and my dad gave the babies a blessing before we left to the hospital. (If you don't know what that is, it is basically a prayer combined with the power of the Prehistood administered to people to give them special blessings the Lord wants them to have and to provide peace and comfort.) They were blessed that they would be able to overcome their illness, so I immediately felt a little better about the situation, but still worried about what was next. 

We have been to the RSV clinic about four times since then and we are probably going to go again today.  They suction out the babies noses and throats and just keep things clear so they can breathe easily and make sure they don't get infections from all the nasty mucus. They have also provided us with a lot of peace and knowledge. Most of the time RSV is really not a big deal. It is usually bad for about 7 days with days 4 and 5 being the worst (we are on day 7), and then most babies and people emerge unscathed. 

I'm not sure we are out of the clouds yet, but it is sure looking like the babies are recovering well! We rented an electronic suctioning device (BBG -- Baby Bugger Grabber) to suck the babies noses several times a day. They HATE it but after it's over they feel much better. Also my mom came over to take care of me and the babies while Jordan was at work.  If people could be declared Angels... I would declare her one. 

I was looking over pictures we took during the week and it looks like the babies are having the time of their lives... Not true... I just have smiley babies :) 

These next two are the kids in their winter suites we had them in when we took them out for some fresh air :)

And of course Jordan didn't get sick AT ALL. He has been taking these fancy vitamins that apparently make you iron man. Maybe I shall start taking some now. 

We kept them in the high chairs a lot so they could be upright so they could breathe better. 

Just pray that we keep getting better and better!!