Have you ever been driving in the fast/passing lane trying to pass a semi truck when you realize the vehicle behind you can't possibly fathom why you are going so slow and consequently tails your car writhin 3 inches or so? And then you panic because you feel bad you are not going fast enough for them and you can't get out of their way because the semi truck is to your other side... So you speed up to a speed that is completely out of your comfort zone in hopes of satisfying the speedster behind you, but of course they are not satisfied so you keep accelerating and then just feel completely out of control and can't wait to get back to a slower lane? Has this happened to you??
Well THAT is what life feels like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah there are good times, amazing times even, but I would not mind just pulling over and taking a rest nap for a bit before I fall asleep at the wheel and kill us all!!! (That was dramatic... I apologize) (also, car analogies are over I promise)
The whole incident on the freeway described above happened to me on my way home tonight. I made the connection with how it relates to how I feel about life and then it sparked deep thoughts about happiness and life. (I really only have time to think while driving in the car, because the babies are strapped to a chair)
Anyway, I distinctly remember the day I came home from 2nd grade and was working on a homework sheet at the bar in the kitchen, when it sunk in that I would be attending at least 14 more years of school. 14 years is an eternity to a 7 year old. I was devastated. It was right then and there that I started longing for the life my mom had. She didn't have to go to school, she was an adult and didn't have rules, she could just play all day with no cares in the world. HA! I truly believed that for years and years!
Well, I am now somewhat in my mother's shoes, and I have had plenty of moments where I would much rather be a kid in school where my only responsibility was to complete a homework sheet and make sure it got back to the teacher.
As I was pondering this on my drive home tonight I chuckled a little... Because I realized the lesson Heavenly Father wanted to teach me took about 17 years for me to learn.
Enjoy life for what it is now! Something hard and challenging will always be going on, but what is important is to find the light where you are standing and stop looking for it somewhere else.
Easier said than done, but I can give it a go! It's ok that I feel like I am careening down the highway out of control. That's probably what my situation SHOULD feel like. But I don't have to long for the slow lane. Slow lane people have their own problems... Like cars getting on the freeway cutting them off, rouge tires, even slower people, and probably being late... Anyway, I want to share some pictures of a few "light" moments that I happened to capture in my phone.
My man and his look-alike daughter snuggled on the couch.
The first discovery of glow sticks and the joy that ensued.
That time they drank their bottles together but still wanted to be touching the whole time.
And again.
My mom took this when she took them for a walk. They always have the biggest smiles for the grandparents!
When she makes this adorable face..
I smile at Jordan and my babies daily! I always have millions of things to be thankful for. The grass is green right where I am :)
