Well, to them I would like to raise a questionable brow and a side-eye... IS IT THOUGH??
I love my twins. I love my life and my family and blah, blah, blah, all that! But let me just tell you how Christmas Eve dinner went for me with 16 month old twins.
We were all sitting around the table. Babies strapped in to their chairs and ready to say the prayer.
The oven beeps and mom has to get the rolls out.
Kids get antsy and NEED FOOD.
I give them food.
Prayer begins.
Raylee starts frantically whining for a drink.
I try to quietly distract her while the prayer continues. (Just bless the food!)
Prayer ends and I get the drink for raylee.
Wake immediately wants a drink after seeing R got one.
Get wake a drink.
Sit to finally dish food.
About to start eating and babies want more food.
I give them a large variety of food to hopefully satisfy them and eat my food.
R takes the bait while I eat some.
W eats some and wants down.
Jordan gets him down and W runs to me crying.
I pull him on my lap and try to keep eating.
W grabs at all my food and silverware and starts to distribute it to the floor.
Wrestle with W and take bites when I can.
R wants down.
Get R down while making sure W doesn't fall.
Both are crying now.
I try to give them drinks again.
No success.
Grandma takes W and I take R.
I begin shoving bites in my face to just get done eating.
R throws things on floor.
Jordan finishes eating and takes R.
W cries so I take him.
ETC! I don't even remember the rest really.
And that was JUST dinner! I didn't listen to the prayer, have a good conversation, or even really enjoy the food that was so beautifully prepared... Christmas Day was the exact same. Me just trying to squeeze in a few Christmas normalities while I try profusely to keep my kids content. (A battle that is never won). Wake was coming down with a cold, so it was even a little worse than normal. This was not the Christmas I was hoping for, and it wasn't really "better with kids"
I truly love my babies. I love being a mother! But I don't really love having all the responsibilities 100% of the time! It's hard! It's life! I accept it, but I'm just TIRED. I'm only human.
After we all got home for the night, I put the kids to sleep while Jordan went to drop off some gifts to his friends. I climbed in bed and just reflected on my crazy holiday and how different it was when I was a kid. I was defeated. So tired but not wanting to sleep because I would have to wake up and start the crazy all over. All of the sudden Wake starts crying. With all of the energy I had left I said the most fervent and pleading prayer I have ever said.
"Heavenly Father... I KNOW you have the power to make him comfortable. I KNOW you can take his cold away, help him breathe, or just ANYTHING that will calm him down. Please, please, please, PLEASE, just help him! I need this.. I have been going all day, just please help him for me"
I listened to see if it worked... Nope. Now violent screaming.
I began to just plead some more.. Maybe He didn't think I was serious.
Then I just decided I was going to let Wake cry it out. But then a prompting from The Spirit came to me. "You have what I cannot give him"
What? Well maybe he was poopy...I guess no one in heaven could really come down and change him for me. So I reluctantly got up and went to him. He was not poopy.. He immediately quieted down as I laid his head on my shoulder. I sat in the rocking chair with him and tickled his neck to calm him down and started the think about that prompting.. What did I have that Heavenly Father couldn't give him?
And then it hit me. I am his mother. His earthly mother. We share a unique bond that no one else does. And along with that I am able to hold him and comfort him and connect with him like no one else ever could.
My heart immediately softened and I held Wake a little bit closer as I cried tears of gratitude and understanding.
Could Heavenly Father have comforted Wake? Yes, definitely. But instead He taught me how important I am in this whole plan. And reminded me that these days are precious and won't last forever. I am more important than a diaper changer.
So I am starting the day with a refreshed view of my life, and a lot more love and patience with my babies. I won't have the relaxing days that I so desperately crave and I won't be perfect.. But that's ok. I'm doing very Devine work.
I'm writing this down and sharing it because I am sure other moms can relate. Hopefully!? And i want moms everywhere to remember how important they are. Maybe even go thank your mom for dealing with you as a baby! Haha! I do that all the time..
Will I be able to survive when Baby #3 arrives in July? Ummmm we'll find out.
